Walking Through Memories
by mrawgirl09
Summary: Songfic. Edward takes a walk through the streets, remembering the person who he loves the most. Fic based on the song 'Time to Walk the Memories' by Nell. Spoilers through the first anime, though I haven't really watched it. No pairings.


**Hey guys, I'm back. From a loooooong month full of exams. ... Well, not completely, since I have another... Well, technically two others, next week. But right now, I have around a ... two days? and a weekend to study for it, and ...well, I just felt bored. **

**I know I'm supposed to get on with OPFMA and HPFMA Sequel, but I didn't. I'll elaborate more in the end of this fic. **

**Well, a month is a long time to go on without writing or drawing anything... and I have to say that I think I lost my touch.... of descriptions. I just don't feel like I have enough vocabulary. ... or the patience. ... or the will. Much. AND during that one month, I lost interest in FMA. Well, not technically, no. I still like reading FMA fics... I just... don't feel so passionate about it anymore. *sigh* Thus, I may or may not be writing a whole lot about FMA. I still think it has been a good run, since I've been at it for almost 5 years of being an FMA fan. I still am, ... just... not as much as I did before. Anyways. I'm thinking of doing short oneshots or short fics until I get my writing back, so then I could start again on the OPFMA. **

**Anyways.  
**

**Set after the first anime, but before the movie. Missing the one person he loved most, Edward tries to walk it off. Little does it help, especially when it starts to rain.**

**I like this quite much, and I like the song even more. If anyone wants to listen while reading, it's on youtube . com / watch?v=8vL_nWjFTPk.**

**I own nothing but the idea. The song belongs to Nell, and the characters and the synopsis belongs to Hiromu Arakawa.**

* * *

Thump, Thunk.

'_Edward? Are you going somewhere?'_

Edward looked back from the open front door. A long, warm light shone from the kitchen. He could almost see the familiar head of armor poking out of the doorway. Instead, he caught a glimpse of the calendar on the wall far behind.

The silence of the empty house was deafening.

'_It's almost dinner, where are you going?'_

The door closed.

_

* * *

And yet still I hear your noise_

_And yet still I feel your hand_

_Today as well, I lived in your memory_

* * *

The cool autumn breeze wafted through his hair.

Edward walked down the street, watching the world as people hurried to return to their home, to their families.

He watched as a mother called to her children.

He watched as a man hurried behind his colleagues towards a bar.

He watched as another got greeted by his wife after a hard day's work.

He watched as two children ran past him, laughing and taunting each other.

'_When we get our bodies back…'_

The same words they spoke to each other whenever the sun set in Amestris. Now all Edward could hear was the quiet laughter through windows as the people prepared their dinner.

The clouds looked like a gentle smile.

* * *

_And yet still I see your face_

_And yet still I feel your warmth_

_Today as well, I lived in your time_

* * *

Passing street lamps by, Edward tentatively reached out with his flesh hand, relishing in the familiar yet alien metallic feeling. He closed his eyes, momentarily imagining the seven foot tall armor standing before him. His face moved up, into the red lights that he missed so much, disappearing into the soft light of the lamp post when he opened his eyes.

The small, childish boy, yet so mature…

'_Please, Ed? He's only a kitten'!_

Edward blinked and looked besides him.

Nothing.

Smiling bitterly, he dropped his gaze to his side, where a cat was rubbing to his mechanical leg.

The cat mewled at him. Edward crouched down and scratched its ears.

How he missed him.

_

* * *

In a stranger that's just passing by in a road_

_On that leaf that's dancing forlornly in the wind_

_In a random gust of wind that touched my face_

_In every thing I see, hear and feel you are there_

* * *

Ed's eyes caught a glint of metal.

Living in the world of black, grey and brown, even the faintest trace of metal was unimaginable.

Senseless hope built up in his heart, and he ran.

'_Edward, over here!'_

Edward knew it wasn't possible.

He would have had to work through the gate, and he shouldn't be able to remember it. Ed knew others would have stopped him if he tried. But still, a whisper in his ears that maybe, by some miracle, that person whom he loved the most, had made it through.

By some chance.

_

* * *

How about you? _

* * *

"Excuse me?"

Edward's hand trembled. His face burned up as his eyes bore disbelievingly into blue. The man, whose arm was still caught in Ed's hand, was frowning impatiently as he waited the answer from the strange boy.

Ed looked down at his hand clasping onto the shimmering piece of cloth. It must have been that new kind of fabric he heard so much about.

_

* * *

How about you?_

* * *

His fingers drew away, head dipped low in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry; I mistook you for someone I know."

_

* * *

Are you the same as well? _

_What about you?_

* * *

Ed tried to still his trembling fingers. It still felt so real… It still felt so …

He clenched his hands, and stood straighter, turning back towards where he came from.

The cat was gone.

_

* * *

And yet still I feel your presence_

_Right this moment I am singing this song_

_I still can see you_

* * *

Walking down the street again he felt the same breeze, the same smell flowing through the air, the same comfortable presence. But whenever he glanced sideways, sometimes a bit to the back, just in case he fell behind again, he would find empty space.

'_What is it, brother? Did you hear something?'_

Ed's head whipped back to front.

"Newspaper, mister?" asked the paper boy, chewing on a piece of gum.

'_Maybe there's some news about Central?'_

"No thanks," chipped Edward, passing the pouting boy.

_

* * *

I'll see you again tomorrow_

_I'll hear you again tomorrow_

_Tomorrow as well everything will be the same_

* * *

Edward stood in front of the closed library.

The lights within the shop turned off one by one, the people walking by, grumbling about 'mindless cloud-watchers' and 'useless to this country'. He could see his reflection on the glass door, his mind creating yet another, bulky, shiny silhouette next to him.

It wasn't real.

'_Maybe we could come back tomorrow, brother.'_

It wasn't.

_

* * *

In a stranger that's just passing by in a road_

_On that leaf that's dancing forlornly in the wind_

_In a random gust of wind that touched my face_

_In every thing I see, hear and feel you are there_

* * *

Edward bit his lips. His shoulder remembered the faint pressure, in exactly the same place as where he would feel it. The voice was perfectly tin, and he could barely make out a spike at the corner of his eye.

"Leave me alone…" Ed clenched his eyes. It isn't real.

'… _Alright, Ed. Just remember, I'll always be here.'_

Edward felt the noisy clanks of the armor as it walked away, to their dorms.

With even the illusions leaving him alone, Edward felt all the more alien. His legs folded under his weight.

Arms found their way around his knees, eyes pressing into his arms, struggling to keep the tears hidden from the world.

It started to rain.

_

* * *

How about you? _

* * *

Pat, pat, pat.

The slow rain drops dissolved into the slow downpour, leaving the slacking few to hurry to shelter.

_

* * *

How about you?_

* * *

A drop fell from Edward's drenched bangs onto the pavement.

The ground looked grey.

The air had turned blue from sunset auburn, swallowing the world's last sunlight in its clouds.

_

* * *

Are you the same as well? _

_What about you?_

* * *

It wasn't long until Edward couldn't feel the fall of the raindrops against his freezing skin through his soaked coat.

Rising from the ground, Edward dusted himself off out of habit.

'_Standing in the rain, you'll get a cold like this! What will you do without me?'_

He bought an umbrella at the nearest shop.

_

* * *

On that chair left alone on the street by its own_

_In the cup I've picked up to drink some water_

_In the mirror I've stood before to see myself_

_In the music landing softly in my ear I find you_

* * *

Thinking back to the warmth of what his coat would have provided, Edward regretted not buying another coat, or maybe a blanket. The breeze that would have cooled the late summer's air now knifed through the folds of Edward's soaked clothing, biting away at what little was left of warmth.

'_Brother, you should take care of yourself better! Honestly!'_

Squinting his eyes, Edward sped up his pace towards his apartment, back to the warmth of his house. He would have tried to rub some cold off his eyes with his hands, but the ice cold hands would have done more damage than good.

'_Ed, do you think Winry would like this spanner?'_

Muttering silent curses, Edward memorized a few steps before him before he closed his stiff eyelids in an attempt to warm the eyes.

'_Edward, you slept with your belly out again!'_

_

* * *

What about now? _

* * *

Step, step, step, step.

'_Brother, it was trembling in the rain!'_

A few more steps and turns, and he would be in front of his house, looking for his keys.

_

* * *

What about now?_

* * *

Step, step, step, step.

'_You had another nightmare, brother. It's fine now.'_

Edward felt his legs losing feeling, numbing as it tore through the rain. His ankles wobbled dangerously, but he drove on, willing his feet to stay on course.

'_You know Ed, the first thing I ever do when I get my body back?'_

Edward felt his throat give into another sob. His mind remembered that he passed a turning point, thus making the body automatically respond with an abrupt turn-back.

Edward crashed into a wall.

_

* * *

You must have erased this, so what now? _

* * *

It wasn't a wall.

_

* * *

What about … us?_

* * *

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going!"

The voice sounded similar to his brother.

Edward opened his eyes. He found a raining wall, at the far end his new umbrella stuck on said wall.

_

* * *

What about us?_

* * *

He shook his head and sat up. "I'm sorry," he said, taking the offered hand of the stranger.

Looking around, there were many metallic parts strewn about. Edward inwardly winced as he imagined how carefully the other must have stacked one on top of another to carry it alone. He looked up to face the man. "I wasn't looking where I was going, either. I-'

_

* * *

What about us?_

* * *

'_I'll hug you brother, I want to feel you with my own two hands!'_

_

* * *

Opening the door to my longing your memory comes to me_

_My eyes keep tearing_

_(What do we do now?)_

* * *

Gold bore into yet another set of blue. Crystal blue.

The world blurred.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you?"

The voice. The strange voice. The stranger's voice.

And yet, it wasn't just another stranger in another world.

'_Where have you been, brother? I've been looking for you!'_

Edward never had felt more confused.

_

* * *

Opening the door to my longing your memory comes to me_

_My heart keeps breaking_

_(What do we do now?)_

* * *

The blonde hair, color stripped through pollution, and the blue eyes, the alien crystal blue eyes did not in any way destroy the illusion.

"Oh crap! You're all wet! I'm so, so sorry!"

The soft curves of the face, the worried frown, the gentle eyes - Edward could do nothing as he watched the other in a daze, still holding his hand.

The doppelganger kneeled down.

'_Ed, you soaked yourself! You'll catch a cold like this! What will you do without me?_

He felt his throat constrict, and managed to croak out,

"Why?"

_

* * *

Opening the door to my longing your memory comes to me_

_My eyes keep tearing_

_(What do we do now?)_

* * *

The other blonde looked appalled, leaning back in surprise.

"Excuse me?"

Tear drops fell, mixing with rain on the pavement.

"Why… why do you do this to me?"

Ed's face was constrained and his voice was shaking.

The rain streaming down his face made a picture no more miserable.

"I… I'm sorry, have we met?" asked the stranger.

Each word pierced through Edward's tattered heart.

"Why…"

The other looked uncomfortable.

"Look, I'm really sorry I ran into you but- … hey are you okay?"

Edward felt his breath hitch, shoulders shake, and hands tremble in the stranger's grasp, still clenched tight.

The rain was getting colder.

_

* * *

Opening the door to my longing your memory comes to me_

_My heart keeps breaking_

_(I guess we can't do anything anymore)_

* * *

And, for the first time in many years, Edward cried. Holding onto the shirt of the confused stranger, Edward bawled his eyes out. Leaving himself to the comforting embrace of his brother's look-alike, Edward finally felt relief.

In the illusion that he was home.

Both umbrellas now lay on the ground.

Edward sat hugging a stranger.

In the middle of a street.

In the middle of a pile of random pieces of metal.

In the rain.

And it didn't matter to him.

Because at that time,

Just for that day,

Al was there.

**

* * *

**

**Well, that's done. **

**I know I'm supposed to update the OPFMA and after that HPFMA (which, by the way, I have lost interest. I think Unusual Arrangement is fine without a sequel. I'm still very sorry for the people whom I asked whether or not to write. I mean, if someone did that to me, I'd be raging, "why the hell ask then"?). And now that I've gone through several months without writing, I felt like I've lost the touch. I was sifting through what I had to do (which is in my profile – I really, REALLY need to get a step up to Dragonna's challenge, by the way) (and make an update to Subject: Edward Elric) and found this songfic I told myself that I'd do. And, this is what I got. **

**The reflective clothing I mentioned is kind of like a retro jazzy kinda clothing. I think it's something like glitter, but not really, or sparkling confetti, but not really either. I'm really not sure about that. So… Yeah. **

**I'm quite happy with it, though. I tried not to mention Alphonse all the way through the end, and even then I tried not to mention too much detail – mainly because everyone would know who I'm talking about just by mentioning 'armor'. Yeah… I was trying to make clear without actually saying it, and though it got repetitive after a while I think it still gave somewhat of a feel I was going for. Somewhat. I don't know.**

**What do you think? **

**Mrawgirl09**


End file.
